Your Authentic Self | Digger Barr

(Golden Age of Gaia)

by Digger Barr

https://gaiasgardens.guru/

The gust held its strength and turned the weather vane 180 degrees. The copper rooster, having weathered many years, stood as a patina green sentry atop a directional arrow. Proud about his job he held fast to knowing which way he was going. Never faltering in this knowing he stayed fixed, clinging to the ever changing arrow.

I give up trying to be normal.
Actually I gave it up years ago but I kept it hidden.
Always trying to fit in just enough, I didn’t want people to think I was totally whack.
But it doesn’t stay hidden for long.
It seeps out the cracks and in mid sentence you notice they have backed up a bit or are starting to tilt their head.
The fun became trying to find those boundaries so that you can say something that doesn’t actually send people running back into their house.
Every once in a while you get a response that says, ‘Hey, We get that’.
These are the rare moments that grow into backyard conversations and create a bonding across time.

Now that I am older I have shifted and I don’t think it’s worth trying to stay hidden.
I just want to be myself and if that self pushes others people’s boundaries, so be it.
For years I have been respectful so as not to blow peoples circuits and jeopardize their worldview and safety in limited thought.
I am not sure what purpose that served outside of keeping me socially acceptable.
It is in part honoring others’ perspectives even while knowing they would be less tolerant of mine.
Maybe at times withholding my perspective has been a disservice. Who knows?
Everything is situational.

I have friends that accept me for being my ‘weird woo woo’ self.
They don’t come around very often but they still love me for who I am.
There are not many people in my local area that understand my ‘out there’ way of thinking.
But there are many people out there that think the way I do.
There seem to be more and more people shifting their thoughts.
It’s fun to open up and finally have a conversation.
I have been wanting this to happen.

I enjoy connecting with people who are starting to wake up but find myself still holding back with them.
The thing is, its is not that I am hiding, its that I have already moved on.
There are other people doing the same thing.
We are all shifting. Incrementally at first and then exponentially as we connect and the conversations pick up steam.
Thanks to social media and the internet we get to be as out there as we want to be.
This community is building.
It may not be with people living right around you, but it is happening.
Someday backyard socials will thrive again.
I have faith in that.

I am grateful to Blossom Goodchild , who is completely herself.
She may live far away from me but she has managed to continue sharing her journey with many of us.
Thank you Blossom for being a wayshower on how to be your authentic self.
Recently in one of her interviews with the GFOL, they used a phrase that really resonated with me.
They said, ‘to get on with our experimental lives’. Ha !
Yes, yes and yes.

Doesn’t that just say it all.
I feel this accurately describes my life past, present and future.
Each waking moment, conscious and subconscious, is a taste test of time.
Try this. yum, that’s delicious. I will have some more.
Or, Pootey! Spit that out. It was bitter and I wouldn’t want to eat that again.
We were taught in school not to experiment by putting things in your mouth but as any child knows that is the first thing we want to do.

My life has been an experiment. A lifetime of experiential practice. I see that in my future as well.
But I want to be more clever about it. I want to be able to actually use some of my well earned learning and make life easier.
I don’t want to be the weather rooster hanging on for dear life and clinging rigidly to which way the wind may be blowing.
I want to become an alchemist and give my life direction for a change.

So how do you blend a world of uncertainty, division, diversity, and still figure out who you are?
And how do you find that intentional direction that isn’t reliant upon the whims of others?
How does one give guidance to oneself and become the alchemist for the future?

When the wind shifted and the rooster turned once again.
I realized that it didn’t matter which direction he pointed. He was still his authentic self.
He is a weather vane. His job is to point different directions.
It doesn’t matter which way you are pointed.
Do it with a knowing that this is you and no matter how the wind blows it will still be you.
It doesn’t matter how others see you. Others will always have a difference in thought and opinion.
Let’s hope we all do.

What is of far greater importantce in any experiment is being open to the outcomes whatever they may bring.
By being our authentic selves the outcomes will be in alignment with who we are.
In this we will continue to have diversity because we are running different experiments.
The wind is blowing. And we all have an internal directional arrow to follow.
Follow your heart and I am willing to bet the wind will blow us all into alignment with the path we are meant to experience.
In this way you will find who you are.
This is the greatest experiment of all time.
Being your true authentic self is the only alchemy you will ever need.

You don’t need to believe me.
Taste it for yourself.
Digger 2023