Now I Really Feel Free | Steve Beckow

By Steve Beckow, December 14, 2022

(Golden Age of Gaia)

I’m watching charges and counter-charges fly on the political scene, threats and counter-threats.

The biggest is: The President threatens to pack the Supreme Court. The Court responds by taking on a case that could unseat the President and Congress. All is up in the air.

As a student of awareness, I’m watching the impact on me of all of it. I’d like to share some of my noticeings.

I see that I do lead and react with my feelings. I react with a horrified “No!” or a grateful “Yes!” to the stories I read.

Once I’ve expressed my feelings, I then ask myself: What to do? For that I consult my memory bank of thoughts.

This seems to substantiate what I’ve suspected: The prime motivator of our behavior is our feelings; the prime designer of our responses is our mind.

***

Consider the human being, for a moment, to be what S.N. Goenka called a mind/body complex.

If we were on any higher plane, we’d see that that was a partial view, but let’s restrict our attention to it for now.

The 3/4D memory retains a toolbox full of tried and tested responses to situations.

We may want to write a letter of protest. We may want to join a protest march. How we respond will depend on what approach we select in light of how we feel.

After we make a decision, we acknowledge this process by asking: How do you feel about that? If we feel fine, then that’s the approach we select and the matter is closed. If not, we search for a better one.

When we’ve satisfied our feeling, we believe that ours is a genuine and spontaneous response, never suspecting that our feelings themselves have been conditioned.

Never mind all the other-worldly inventions and technologies someone on the planet is using on us – 5D, MK Ultra, Mockingbird press, etc.

Never mind the guiding hand and influence of karma. Our view of the world we encounter every day and our response to it – beyond any and all influences – remains our own creation.

Feeling, thought, feeling, thought – on we go through life, never imagining that we’re in the process of constructing our own reality at all levels as we go. (1)

***

I know I’m constructing my reality as I go. I’ve known myself at a level where I see and feel my own purity and innocence. That’s how I felt when gazing upon the Self in the seat of the soul, the bottom of the heart. (2)

I can see the difference between that and this, even if I’m not able to live a life so pure (I hear Sitara say: Yet).

The view from that level is totally different than the view from this everyday one. Everything is bright and cheerful and aware.

Let that be seen as our starting point. Beyond it, I add contrivance and belief to make a “self.” It doesn’t matter that I do it to keep my job or marriage. Whatever my calculations are, I do it.

Fast forward to the end point: Now I’m a well-oiled stimulus/(feeling/thought/)response machine. I see something or hear about it. I react by feeling something about it. I choose a thought-out course of action that “fits” my emotional response. And away I go with it!

It either satisfies that emotion, goes along with it, forwards it, or something similar.

To operate this way is habitual and below everyday awareness.

Moreover, there’s such a small gap between perception and feeling and feeling and thought that you couldn’t slip a piece of paper between them. Though I seldom if ever notice that they’re separate, there is a gap and reacting is a process.

***

Once I see my lower self in operation, I can step back from it. Not easy to do until I see it. Otherwise what am I stepping back from? All is confusion.

I imagine myself taking off my 3/4D mind-body complex like scuba gear. Off comes the mask. Off the exterior front. Welcome to me.

Whereas I used to think that a clever rejoinder and a fat bank account made me free (a full tank of oxygen), now I really feel free.

Imagination on the higher planes is creative. So I use my imagination now to take off (deconstruct) all that I’ve built to protect the dweller within – who, it turns out, needs no protection at all. (3)

Footnotes

(1) Drawing what we do to us by the Law of Attraction. Fulfilling the Law of Karma by meeting events determined by our thoughts and actions in a previous life. Building our karma for the next life. Etc.

(1) See “We Are, All of Us, Innocent and Pure” in An Ascension Ethnography at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/An-Ascension-Ethnography-5.pdf

(2) I’m deconstructing the false self, the self-image, the presented self, etc. Then I’ll reparent myself and reconstruct my public persona, because, as a CEO I’ll need a persona that allows me to navigate and perform.

Left to my own devices, I’m more contemplative – jeans and T-shirt.