How Crazy this Life Feels

By Catherine Viel, October 10, 2022

(Golden Age of Gaia)

October 9, 2022

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
I don’t know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels
Look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through
Looking into their eyes, I see them running too
Running on (running on empty)…
~Jackson Browne and David Lindley, Running on Empty



Why is it so hard sometimes to remember to take care of ourselves? And then, upon remembering, to actually do it?

I had just told myself to eat something but then noticed my cat coming down the stairs licking his lips, which meant he had gone upstairs to vomit the tiny bit of food he got down. And oh dear, there’s other chores I haven’t done this morning…

It was like walking through molasses to turn from the stairs toward the kitchen where I prepared the breakfast I had just promised myself, then sat down and ate every bite.

I’ve noticed that when someone under my purview of care is in need, even the basics of self-care are easy to set aside. I think, I can do that later, or, it’s more important to do XYZ for the crisis that’s happening with somebody else.

It’s amazing that nurses and other professional caregivers tear themselves away from duty to snatch a break or a meal.

Then again, they must learn pretty early on that feeding themselves and getting rest is paramount, or they are no good at all to their patients.

*****



With the likelihood that supremely upsetting revelations are poised in the wings, I suspect a whole lot of self-care in the “awake and aware” contingent could get set aside. After all, family and friends might be traumatized and confused. And we are the shining knights who can assuage their confusion and fear.

But even knights must stoke themselves before battle. The upcoming weeks could be like a prolonged spiritual and psychological battle. Even we who have an inkling of what might be coming can’t be completely prepared for predicted events and revelations, since they’re still largely in the realm of speculation.

The first person in need of spiritual and emotional triage could be the one we see in the mirror.

I will remind myself of the lesson my spiritually advanced feline has shown me. Yes, he needs help, and I’m doing everything I can to restore him to health, but I won’t be much use to him if I’m running on empty while trying to fill his quota of wellness back to optimum.

“Running on empty” is a haunting and evocative song title. If I find myself humming it, though, I will take that as a reminder from Spirit of what not to do.