Dreaming Selfish Dreams | Catherine Viel

By Catherine Viel, June 25, 2022

(Golden Age of Gaia)

June 24, 2022

Oh, I could hide ‘neath the wings
Of the bluebird as she sings
The six o’clock alarm would never ring…
Oh, what can it mean
To a daydream believer…
~John C. Stewart, Daydream Believer



I half-jokingly texted a friend, “I’m scraping up gratitude for the even keel of my life.”

This is true, I’m grateful things seem to be plugging along okay in my personal arena.

But…rather ungraciously, I’d prefer to be grateful for bigger stuff. For all mandates and restrictions having been lifted. For enough of the truth (as many see it) to have been disclosed so that we’re no longer looking over our shoulders for the next assault on our persons and liberties. That, I’d be heart-bottom thankful for.

I’d love to be expressing gratitude for an open-ended guided tour of foreign locales via luxury crafts, staying at first-class accommodations. The crème de la crème of bed and breakfasts. A converted castle or two, a fascinating historical edifice that’s been fitted up for the high-end tourist trade. Best of all… extravagant self-care treatments like massage. Uninterrupted quiet time in a restful, beautiful place. Oh, I could weep with longing.

*****



The person who tells herself to be content because things aren’t worse (which is where most of my gratitude goes) looks on askance. How dare I ask for so much! How dare I want luxury and ease, pampering, someone to make the bed, five-star cuisine served with a flourish.

The guidance I notice from spiritual sources is more prosaic and other-directed. Channels advise us to keep our vibrations high to lift the collective. I understand we’re also supposed to be preparing to assist the befuddled, unaware people who haven’t a clue what’s coming our way. Noble aspirations, those.

Although some lip service is paid to how we can all indulge a bit once the beneficial financial reset occurs, it seems it’s always a two-part comment.

Sure, take a little vacation, treat yourself to that new roof you’ve been worrying about for ten years. Even spring for a couple of unnecessary but fun items like new clothing, or a vehicle that wasn’t manufactured in the previous century.

But remember! Your duty is always to help the collective in whatever way your soul contract seems to point you.

I wish I could totally buy into that, but I feel I’ve had too many years under the yoke of responsibilities-I-didn’t-ask-for to blindly accept the burden of selfless-service-to-others. Allowing myself a tiny slice of ersatz vacation before diving headfirst into the next round of obligations feels like a tepid sip of water to a person crawling across the desert and slowly dying of thirst.

Even worse, that future obligation to be of service to others sounds like a fairly endless proposition. Millions of people are going to need help for decades. Is that, too, my personal responsibility?

*****



If I am being as honest as possible, I admit that right this moment, I have zero interest in helping anybody else. Zero. My plate is already filled with things-I-must-do and I recoil from taking on more.

I’m going to put a spin on it, though. I’m going to say that dreaming my selfish (or at least self-indulgent) dreams could meander toward the path of service-to-others, in a roundabout fashion. Perhaps, if I give myself time and space to replenish after what feels like a lifetime of slogging and struggle, perhaps, of its own volition, the desire to be of service to others will bubble up, a wellspring that has been refilled from Source.

If Source wishes to help others through me, I must believe that Source will first supply juice to my depleted human batteries.

Meantime, I’m going to keep reading my happy-ending novels, paging through those Viking Cruise Line brochures, and daydreaming. And I will be at peace with exactly how I am.



Perhaps the Universe itself is encouraging me to dream…this was my Note from the Universe for June 24 (tut.com):

I’ve been thinking about your dream vacation home, Catherine. Actually, I’ve been thinking about it A LOT. Even considering how it will affect other aspects of your life in wonderful, unforeseen ways.

Sometimes (daily, to be honest), I even imagine you already own it. I vividly see you enjoying it; your heart racing, your friends talking, and neighbors gawking. I can literally hear their “Oooohs” and “Ahhhhhs,” I can feel the high-fives, and I can taste the thrill of success on your lips.

How about you?

Hubba, hubba –

The Universe