Serena: I miss me Very Much | Steve Beckow

Credit: Jeanine Kendall

By Steve Beckow, January 20, 2022

(Golden Age of Gaia)

“Serena” from “France” was a victim of trafficking and MK Ultra. What follows is her initial private message to me.

Since then, she’s shared more about her experience, which we’ll post shortly.

Hello Steve,

I continue to read your sharings and I thank you and all the team for that.

I had a special feeling when you talk about how the angels communicate with us. One of my angels is Ariel (as I was born on the 10th of November) and I know for sure Michael (and all of them, of course). It’s as if you were thinking about the same things as I was (I’ve often noticed that).

But today as you wrote “I’ve reached the end of the road,” (1) I was feeling the same. Indeed, I’ve chosen in this life to experience cyber torture or transhumanism. (2)

I’ve felt my perceptions/emotions/thoughts/perceptions going away little by little and replaced by all the programs these dark people have put on me.

I’ve been noticing them analyzing, scrutinizing, talking constantly in my mind, transforming the reactions of my body, even managing completely against my will, the movements of my body.

I no longer can feel anything but I do notice something from around my body as ‘This is ending, no more.” My spirit taking over. Like not being alive physically any more (as I feel empty inside) but spiritually existing (as artificially maintained by these beings). I feel that I really deeply do not care any more about anything.

I was able to register a complaint to the European Court of Human Rights; then to the French department fighting crimes against humanity. I also participated in a common-law suit with some international victims belonging to a Belgium association called ICATOR. (3) Awaiting results now.

But I just wanted to share with you some insights that I can still remember : I’ve understood how wonderful it is to be human. And thus these feelings that we do not like, like fear or anger, appeared to me like guardians of our safety. Feeling fear and anger are usually protective but result from a lower consciousness and this is OK.

However, I have never felt this way about fear or anger. (4)

At each level of frequency, our body knows how to react and this is where I see God in action.

But today, I’m just not there. Your insights sometimes bring relief, so … I arrive at a point where I hope to free myself sooner from this experience.

Experiencing torture on a permanent and continuous basis is something deeply foreign to a human being.

A human being cannot hold this permanent need to erase everything good on another. I have heard a Sasha Stone conference, where David Sereda remembers Marilyn “Monroe” appearing to him and explaining that she prefers to leave her experience alone as very dark people wanted to manipulate her with no limit.

I understand that. Maybe I also have to take the decision to leave against my will, how is that possible ? Marilyn has done it. Today, I experienced four forced and manipulative suicide attempts. In the worst (due to their control of my nervous system), they made me return to my car and go home (as I was in a forest, with pills). I was forced to return to my car and stayed in shock for two days. Each time, I tried to organize my leaving, they ‘d cut my will and here I am still. I have some moments like these registered on my memories, that make me just want to go away. (5)

The only thing that brings me comfort is God knowing my heart and being with me.



One day on a healing session with one beautiful Lightworker, Mother Mary appeared and told me that she was crying for all the tears that I cannot express (I was not able to say or think anything; my condition went deep. I was trying to remember what I’ve experienced when crying in the past and I was amazed at how such strange moments heal us.

The human consciousness at its worst makes me believe that this is foreign to a human being. No past traumas can explain such dark actions.

Or do they? I don’t believe it. But what I’ve learned about being human by being surrounded in the body Mother Earth gave me is wonderful. You know, each morning I ask for a message from the Family of Light through my animal oracles, and the Giraffe appeared, I understand why now.

Each level brings its understandings.

But nothing is like being able to express oneself freely. I miss me very much. I hope you feel how beautiful it is to connect alone with you. I’d like to make you touch this: whatever you’re going through, you still have you.

Love

Serena

Thank you for sharing that, Serena. We’ll hear more about your experience in a short while.

Footnotes

(1) “No Issues, Judgments, or Resentments,” January 19, 2022, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2022/01/19/no-issues-judgments-or-resentments/

(2) Specifically Serena, after being trafficked, was implanted and subjected to MK Ultra mind control. She shares more about that in a future post.

(3) ICATOR – International Resistance Movement Against Electronic Torture and Organized Stalking at https://icator.be/.

For what Serena is describing, see “Mind Control” at https://icator.be/mindcontrol/.

(4) Serena: Fear and anger did not protect me.

Initially fear and anger had to be suppressed while being tortured.

But as these beings were playing with these feelings in all ways (mixing them with higher-vibrational emotions that I might feel while looking at my loved ones) that I had to find a way to disengage from them.

And one day, after being so “mixed,” the feeling of letting fear and anger go arose … And a healthy burst of anger also arose, that made me understand that sometimes letting things go, letting them take their place, allowed me to align surprisingly more with my being, At least things were taking their place.

Letting go while being under attack (so to speak) can sometimes open doors of healing.

(5) Serena: When you are remotely mentally-programmed, the terrorists tap into the good of humanity so that clarity of mind, will, and creativity are the first ones to be disrupted.

In my case, will was and is very strong but they made me diminish it (after recording my body feelings to it) to the point where I become with almost no “will.” Let’s say I could be walking and have to choose between the right or left road. It became meaningless for me as did a lot of other things.

So, to sum up. When I “decided” to stop my experience here, my will was each time diminished to zero, meaning that the terrorists lead me to this frontier where somewhere while tapping on this no-care feeling (after nights of deprivation sleep), I was not able to do it [suicide]. I then came back to my house, even more broken.