Hard Time Asking | Steve Beckow

My pride and joy in 1974

By Steve Beckow, January 15, 2022

(Golden Age of Gaia)

My father used to require things of me immediately after he gave me money.

He once paid for new tires on my TR-4 because I was going across Canada to study in Ottawa. No sooner had he agreed to pay than he asked me why I didn’t go in for engineering at university. Me? Engineering?

What do you say when your benefactor makes a request of you that cuts right across all your dreams? You look at him aghast and say nothing.

However I developed a vasana or core issue around money out of a desire not to be financially dependent on anyone, after many repeats of this Pavlovian experience.

And I also, though able to give, have a hard time receiving generally. No, if I received something from you, you’d start making outlandish requests of me, I’d say to myself.

In time, I found it extremely difficult to ask for money.

I’m writing this, really, to thank Suzi for tirelessly appearing before you and doing what I would greatly chafe at and feel miserable doing: She asks you for money. Thank you for performing that role, Suzi.

What do we do with it? Behind the scenes, we’re committed to all of the editors (and Karen, our financial officer) getting across the Reval finish line together.

Everyone behind the scenes is sharing whatever they have. I hear one month that so-and-so absorbed our shortfall. The next month someone else received a cheque and is sharing it. One of the editors contributed the lion’s share towards my replacement computer. We’re getting across the finish line together.

Each month we hope that this’ll be the last one. But I know darn well that the world needs to be safe first.

Let me take the opportunity to say to you how much I appreciate you supporting the team to make it to the end. There are plenty of causes you could be giving to and I’m so grateful that you’ve chosen to include us among your choices.

After the Reval, it’s just a question of time before we go global. The financial resources we’ll have to do our job then will be virtually unlimited.

We just need to get there….