On Being an Empath 2: Empaths Don't Want to Hurt Anyone | Ivo of Vega via Sharon Stewart

October 13, 2021

Empaths Don't Want to Hurt Anyone

They don't, but they have to learn to stick up for themselves and put up with the reaction anyway. Empaths know, as beings of Unity Consciousness, that to hurt another is to hurt one's self – simply because we feel it!

This is another thing I've found as an empath – empaths are very aware of the Law of One simply because they are empathic. They feel others' feelings and what could this mean other than we are all One? Why would I be able to feel other people's feelings unless I was allowed to by some cosmic law?

Empaths not only feel others' feelings but they feel them BECAUSE they understand that both you and they are aspects of God. So it's in being a part of God that we can feel others' feelings and hear their thoughts.

We are very aware of the Unity of every human.

I have been able to hear others' thoughts on occasion, but guess what? They weren't very nice, so I shut off that function. What goes on in others' minds is not something I want to hear. I may even do so at times without realizing it but I'd rather be ignorant of that fact.

It's enough that I can feel the sexual interest of a complete stranger as I walk by him. Not just once in day, but all the time. The guy on the old Harley who eyed me as I walked to Tim Horton's, and then the man sitting in the Swiss Chalet who was feeding his disabled wife her dinner. His eyes followed me across the room and his hungry energy just clung to me like the desperate man he was.

I have heard the thoughts of the fat shamers as I donned my bathing suit for a summertime swim.

I know what someone is thinking when he sits down to have a chat with me. I know this isn't just a social call – he has an agenda. You can tell who's just being friendly and who's got an agenda. The feeling is entirely different. You wish the friendly ones would stay, actually.

Try it out. Compare the last time you went to your dentist's office and spoke to the assistant, or went to a job interview. Totally different energy.

Compare the last time you talked to a car salesperson or went into the corner store to buy a newspaper.

By the way, there are many people who resent you for coming into their space, it's the empath who can tell you who they are. If they're at work, biding their time listening to the radio or texting, and you show up needing to be served, you'll feel that energy that says, “Oh, what do you want already?”

That's why being an empath can be overwhelming. You know how everyone feels about you before they open their mouth. You can also read faces very easily. All they have to do is open their mouths to confirm what they're thinking.

Think of how it felt when you went to see Junior's teacher about the bad grade she gave him. What energy did you pick up from her? Was she ready for a fight? Was she already on the defensive?

I say these things are very common, so common many of us miss them.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was entirely ready to misunderstand your intention. No matter what you said or did, they were blurting out angry energy at you? What did you do?

I've gone into the payday loan office and spoke to the office diva who put out the most condescending energy towards me. I was just a lowly borrower. I ended up going to their other office instead and speaking to the two friendly women there who were very helpful. Different energy.

Then there are the ones who are not so easy to read facially, but their energy says it all. They smile and speak politely but their energy is belying their feelings about having to serve you. Try not to take it personally.

The trouble is, you see, when you hurt people, you create bad karma. So how do you navigate around this exploitative planet, where people are used and things are loved, where the mark of a leader is how many people he can command, where the mark of a relationship is who you can dominate? How do you get around on a planet with dualistic values when you are naturally of unity consciousness?

Empath, how many times have you shut off your conscience, and by that I mean the little voice within you that says, “No, don't do that,” or, “yes, that's okay!” I hear my voice loud and clear. Loud and clear. I have all my life. It tells me when I am doing something that will have karmic repercussions and rebalancing will be necessary.

You know if you stick up for yourself with the neighbor who is stalking you, that it will start shit and so you do what you can to stay safe while you look for another place to live. You know he's coming over feigning concern that he missed your birthday (check my license plate, it's in November) and then he asks for a hug, which you know is only a precursor to his groping you the next time he's alone with you and drunk enough to try it. So you don't want to be alone with him anymore, but he keeps coming over because he knows you're not texting him anymore since he sent you that dirty text. I've been through this so many times. I know what comes next. He comes out of the house more and more often, just to spend some time with me and I'm uncomfortable. I know he's watching for when I come outside. You know what he wants and it's got “dirty sex” written all over it. You sense he's advancing his agenda and he can't take no for an answer.

His energy is exploratory.... “I wonder if she'll go for this...” You can feel him wondering why you won't speak to him and how he can re-close the gap, maybe even gain some ground.

Ivo says I can buy a baseball bat to defend myself from him. He doesn't want me to have a gun. One of these days he'll come over drunk and out of control. And he's way stronger than I am. You wonder who knocked on your door softly last week at 10 in the morning, and you hope it was your super, not him. I could ask who it was but I don't want to know.

You know who's going to become a problem and who doesn't have any interest in you. You can sense it. He always has been a problem, from day one. I've been riding on borrowed time here the whole time.

Empath, you really need to get your intellect out of the way, because it tells you that a 40 year old man wouldn't be interested in a 60 year old woman. You lie to yourself, empath. You lie to give yourself a false feeling of safety. You're a master of self deception because you don't want to hear what your instincts are telling you. That's another problem we have. Because it leaves us in situations that potentially may harm us.

You can tell when they're still invested in trying to compromise with or to change you, and when they have let go and don't care anymore. Energy doesn't lie.

You walk into a room and can sense someone's interest in you. You see someone you know casually and can tell if they've had a bad day or not even before they open their mouths and start complaining about it.

You can tell who enjoys their job and who hates it. The cashier ringing in your groceries. She's just miserable. It doesn't show but you know.

You know who's going to knife you in the back when you're walking away.

But you don't want to hurt anyone. You know it creates bad karma. What if people put themselves in a position to be hurt, like my neighbor is now? Yes, and what do people do when they're hurt – they strike out at you. Despite the fact they say they like you, they will try to punish you for saying no to them.

So you hurt them. You say “no,” I don't want to date you. You try lying and say you have a boyfriend and they can see right through that because you're a lousy liar, especially when you turn bright red while you do it.

It doesn't do any good to hurt other people because it hurts you more. Just like the parent who says to their child, “This will hurt me more than it will you,” this is your stance in all transactions. It's useless to take a hard stance with people because of their reactions, but also because you'll feel rotten thinking you hurt someone. How do you know you hurt them? If it's not obvious, you are an empath - you can tell.

You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. You have to defend yourself but you feel the feelings of pain and confusion of the man whose advances you're rejecting.

So you limit your interactions. What choice do you have? Because setting boundaries with others, as necessary as it is, seems like a no win situation for you.

Ivo and I speak very frankly with each other and it's because we know each other, he knows me very well. He also knows if I'm bullshitting, and he'll call me on it. I appreciate that because he doesn't get hurt, and he doesn't retaliate. So I can be honest with him.

You know if you say, “No,” you won't stay late to help out someone at the office, how disappointed they feel. You've let them down. That's what you walk away with when you finally get to go home at 5 o'clock. And you always care about others and how they feel.

You know who's eyeing you up in the office for a tryst, and you try to avoid them. When they keep coming around, not getting your hints, what do you do then? Eventually you bottle it up, and then just tell them to eff off and leave you alone, and then you feel like shit because you feel how hurt they were, and you know you let that little voice in your head – your conscience – down.

You feel guilty when the boss calls you at home after two weeks off with a bad back because you can tell she really needs you there.

You stick with a chiropractor who's not doing your back any good because you sense he's really trying to help you.

You know how the neighbors feel about you for standing your ground with them. They all hate you.

Well, the consolation prize: dogs and cats love you.

The easy ones to be around are the sociopaths who don't really feel very much at all. At least you don't have their feelings to deal with on top of your own. I suspect that's part of why I dated many of the men I did: they didn't have any feelings, nothing that I could sense anyway. They just didn't care. It didn't make for a good relationship, but at least you could walk away from it and not be entangled in others' feelings.

The one thing you can never say is that you don't care about others. You do, it's intrinsic. It's normal to care about other people. Empaths can tell when others don't care about themselves because they feel the drop in their heart frequency around them. All it takes is a self deprecating joke to confirm your suspicions.

You try hanging around with extroverts but then you're hit by the reality of their superficial lifestyle. They're not what you want in a friend either. In having everyone as their friend, they connect with nobody as well.

Wanting a deep relationship with intense emotions, but having to suffer the emotions of both parties is very hard to do. You understand how you have hurt others and it bothers you because you're not a sociopath.

Fun, eh?

I always have a good time with my ETs because they don't have the negative aspect to them that earthlings do. I can joke with them and have fun, even let them tease me and I don't react because that's all it is, there is no underlying intention and they're not part of the power over others system. A tease is just a fun tease. Here, a tease could be anything: a flirt, a put down, it could mean far more than it appears to mean.

Empath, putting yourself first is hard but it's absolutely important that you do. Even if it means transmuting the negative feelings of someone you've hurt.

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