Calming Down, Looking Back | Steve Beckow

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By Steve Beckow, October 3, 2021

(Golden Age of Gaia)

I can’t say that calm has entirely returned. I still feel shell-shocked and traumatized by everything that’s happened.

But I’m more interested in discussing some of the growth and learning. The other things will diminish and fade out of memory, with me quicker than with many others!

I’ve been cut down to size in some significant ways. Wherever there was smugness, I no longer feel smug. Where I thought I knew it all, where I was judgmental, where I was flip or resistant … all of it seems empty now. I feel humbled.

That a life could be so overturned by the loss of a computer, hard drive, and ID docs was never in my mind. It’s been very sobering.

I’ve been hammered on the anvil. I feel softer. I feel quieter.

And I’m worn out from the stress of it all and the worry that, with my forgetfulness, it could happen again. (1)

I feel tremendous gratitude to the people who came together and helped me recover from the financial disaster. I have difficulty accepting from others. I was humbled by and grateful for people’s willingness to help.

I maintain this is a perfect snapshot of how it’ll be for us in the times Matthew and Mike are describing:

Matthew: We would be less than forthright if we did not tell you the remaining Illuminati will not go gently into the demise of their control and, until their last gasp, it’s likely they will cause as much commotion as they can. (2)

Mike: The changes continue to take place and will carry on for quite a time yet, one thing leads to another and so it shall continue until all are truly on the same path. (3)

People coming together to help each other is something we may need to practice more of, perhaps soon. Catherine was talking yesterday about putting together some extra provisions for herself – and for other people. I’ve done the same. That’d be one example of people coming together.

***

Let me look back on what happened. It does me good to talk about it.

We may suffer dramatic change and some loss in the melee which seems to be coming. So I’m wanting to give us a sense of what it looks and feels like and how we may react when in the midst of it.

The vasana or core issue had two parts: a present and a historical.

The present component revolved around my fears of my ID documents falling into the hands of human traffickers or fraudsters, my financial data resulting in a theft or a break-in, etc.

The past component was the trauma of so many historical incidents – humiliation, shame, guilt, fear, loss, going back to early childhood.

Having the two occurring at once was confusing and frustrating. I couldn’t be with my feelings and experience them to completion because my other side was saying what are you doing? Get a move on. Get that bag back. But I can’t get the bag back. … It’s gone.

What it felt like at times was extreme stress shading into ongoing panic plus hyperventilating. I must have looked like a wreck.

There was a moment when I thought I’d also lost a third hard drive. The stress was so bad that it felt like I was going to have a heart attack. And I had no desire to go to a hospital.

The only thing I can think of to do differently was that, if the person is able to meditate, then to use that to quiet down. Now that I have my computer up and running again and life has returned to normal, I may turn to that as well.

I’m now in the phase of being quietly alone and allowing everything to settle down. When I recover, I’ll still have the lessons learned.

This has been a real jack-hammering, but I also understand it’s one of the only ways to get at really deep-seated vasanas. At least it wasn’t a car accident, as with Linda.

I’m sitting here, at this moment, feeling peaceful. The work of equipment restoration is near complete. It’s just a case now of me settling down after several days of crisis and agonizing.

Footnotes

(1) I mentioned earlier that I now strap my shoulder bag on in the front; I don’t carry ID I don’t need; my laptop stays at home; etc. I’m getting more serious about my situational awareness.

(2) Matthew’s Message, Oct. 1, 2021.

(3) Mike Quinsey’s Higher Self Message, Oct. 1, 2021.