Saturday, May 29, 2021

Decisions | Ananda



Decisions

I made some decisions that left a hold of me.
really had me going crazy,
scared to make another wrong choice, from that voice inside
I let someone else make all my choices for me
it didn't even bore me, I had so much company.
But, with the decisions they made on my behalf I watched as,
the little given to me turned into a ¼ of a ½.
This has been going on for so long even I became cool with that.
I called it “not complaining”.
But it was really settling for less,
or even less than that.
Somedays, the only thing I knew for sure I had, was my next breath.
Now I just want what I could have had back.
I want who I was before I was scared to be wrong.
Before I became so heart-lite and headstrong
Before your decisions veiled my divinity, my sovereignty, and then I acted accordingly.
Or was it the other way around?
Before I bought any of your stories and turned them into personalities, or the definition of me. All heaven- less, and hell - bound.
This is coming to an end; the ego relationship has run aground.