November 20, 2020
My post: I have accomplished more and done more good for others while being outside of the main stream than in the main stream. Being in the main stream did nothing other than aggravate me because I knew that everything I was doing was not something that fed my soul; it was detrimental to my soul and I hated it.
Being a loner, and then going and finding my community is the best thing I ever did. Having community and being expected to fit in to it did a number on my head. That's what so many people are experiencing right now but they're too unaware to realize this. I'm not.
I am the reversal of what the main stream expects. They want community and conformity and I'm not that. I'm also tired of having to explain to other people why I am alone all the time. I'm tired of people trying to get me to join their church because they think their way of life is better than mine and that includes my younger brother the minister. I'm tired of people thinking because I'm a single woman that I've screwed my way through life, and that now it's their turn. I'm tired of people who call me nuts and then claim to love me. I'm tired of people who believe they know more than I do when the information I've gotten was from extraterrestrials who are loving enough to bring this information to earth. I'm tired of feeling I have to defend my lifestyle against people who think they know what's best for me instead of myself. I'm tired of being subjected to people who do not understand my path in life and feel they have to change it to something they can understand. Living with at best unsupportive and at worst predatory people who are out to take advantage of me, is getting very tiresome. I find myself fighting hard to create enough space around myself to be free to do my work. I'm being pummelled daily by interactions with controlling, disrespectful others who I constantly have to assert myself with.
I mean I'm tired, as in “I'm not going to tolerate your attempts to change me anymore” tired. I'm doing housecleaning and it's not easy but it is liberating. Trying to create a life that works for me with elements in it that are trying to convert me back to the brainlessness I suffered from earlier is not gonna happen.
Trying to change someone who doesn't want to be changed is not an act of love – it's an attempt at control and a violation of Universal Law and their free will. It also shows your inability to listen to and to respect others. And ridiculing someone who is different from you is not loving at all, it's egotistical. We all have to realize what's going on and have to learn to define love as what it truly is rather than mistaking it for control.
Something's going on here.... I just felt something touch my arm and when I looked, there was something white and then it disappeared. LOL Maybe an angel wing. I sense they're around but they always are. It was about 2 inches long and was there for a split second.
Everyone thinks they have the answers but their answers only left me with more questions. Join a church, take on a religion, compare your sister to the village idiot, prey on women in the neighbourhood so you can stroke your ego, trust the government to meet your needs. These aren't solutions; they're problems. If they only had the mind to see. Answers lie within, not without.
I'm sure some of you can relate. I believe that by living by myself I must appear to some people to be vulnerable and easily taken advantage of, or that my life is decrepit in some way and needs to be fixed when in fact, IN SPITE of my chronic fatigue, I'm never felt more alive.
This goes back to what I keep saying to people who want to help or give advice: Ask first if it's wanted. Otherwise you're going to be seen as an unwelcome intrusion into others lives and they will deal with you in whatever way they see fit. It's best to ask if they want your help or advice, and then if they say “no”, back off and let them be. You have to consider the fact that it's insulting to other people to have your actions continually implying that you think they're broken, a misfit or otherwise in need of help when they don't believe it themselves.
I live by universal law, not Matrix law. That's why they don't understand me, and that's why the Matrix is always sending its minions to try to pull me back down. It's already made it clear it doesn't appreciate me living on this planet and has only tried to kill me.
The people I'm referring to primarily are my family, who have put me in the role of the family black sheep and are trying to save me or use that misconception to their own advantage.
The strange part about being me, and I'm sure many lightworkers can relate, is that I do BETTER for myself and for others when I step away from convention. These people are trying to pull me back in the system, and if you relate this to the Matrix, these people are the Smiths. Smiths always back the system, despite the fact they complain about it and are low on money, food or other necessities of life, they back the system because it's all that they know. They don't think, for the life of them, that anyone else might have a better clue to how to live life than they do. That's the funny part, actually.
Ivo: I told you, my love, that you are better off without your earth family as they are trying to keep you as a part of their family, and your role in the family as you can see, is to take over the role of your father who was the family crackpot. He was considered crazy because he was into everything you are into now, and now you are into it and so your brother, the minister, wishes to convert you to his favourite system of control, religion, and to be your saviour. Your sister fears for you because she believes you are crazy. When in fact you have shown you have superb manifestation skills, and have proved to her that you are able to predict life events by telling her what would happen in her own life. She still believes that she is superior to you.
Me: I don't want that around anymore. I'm fed up of the conditions they try to place on my life and want my freedom.
Ivo: Yes, the age of Aquarius – you want your freedom. They know this has always been important to you. You even moved to Europe to search for it.
Me: Yes. The family has always been oppressive and it continues to be as each new generation of dysfunctional members is created. I don't want to be part of their lives because I can't bear to see what they're doing to their children. I'm sure some of them will rush out to get their children vaccinated. I hope nothing happens to these kids, but fact is, if it does, it's for the learning. I can't bear to watch them make the mistakes I've managed to avoid for myself and others. I just can't bear it.
Ivo: Yes. You love them. However, you can love them from a distance. They are not your people anymore, I told you. We are.
Me: I know. And I realize that you always were what I was working towards throughout my lifetime. I was always trying to find you even though I didn't realize that I was even looking for you. That's why no other man was good enough. I was comparing them to the perfection I already knew in my heart that is you.
Ivo: We are meant to be together, my love. To separate us is only temporary. Our hearts are joined together as One. You will always search for me when you are away from me, and I for you. That is the twin flame relationship. Completion can only be found in each other's arms.
Me: I can't wait till next year. I can only tell you right now I am SO TIRED of everyone around me. I just can't take them anymore. I know they have nothing to offer me.
Ivo: And that is the process, my love. You love them unconditionally, but you cannot take the conditions they offer to you. You allow them to live their lives as they will, but you do not take their efforts to control you lightly. Your sister is insulting, calling you crazy. Yes, she has adopted the role of your mother, who ridiculed your father incessantly because she was angry with him. Even when his behaviour changed and he was able to regulate his anger much better, she did not notice. She remained the same.
Me: They don't adapt well, that's for sure. I'm just tired of the Smiths. Very tired of fighting off the Matrix's attempts to haul me back in, like that's going to happen.
Ivo: There are many in your shoes, my love. People relate to what you are going through.
Me: People and their baggage. Their limitations.
Ivo: You are ready for more, my love. That is what you are preparing for now.
Me; I am. I'm going to start to pack. That way I can feel like I'm doing something rather than sitting and waiting.
Ivo: Very well. We will be together next year.
Me: I don't care whether I have to sell the car and buy a camper and go up north, we're going to be together. I'm done with this part of my life, entirely finished. I'm ready for something new. I've been ready to meet you for so long and now I'll do it if I have to come up with some cocked up plan to do it. I don't care. It's time.
Ivo: Very well. You will find that you will go out in grand style, my love. Look at your ability to manifest at work. You are being shown that you get what you want, and what you want is me. So you will get that. You will also get your house and you will set up a space port and television station.
Me: Yeah, I was looking for Divine Cosmos the other day on youtube, and then someone posted it up on Facebook. I think I should pay Corey and David some money because now I'm watching it for free so I should donate at least the price of a movie rental to them.
Ivo: If you wish. I love you my dear. Our combined energy is so powerful there is no stopping what will happen next.
Me: Good. I love you too, Ivo. It's agony not being with you.
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