Signs you're Healing | Ivo of Vega via Sharon Stewart

September 26, 2020

Signs You're Healing

I want to thank Nikhil for posting this. I saw this this morning and I'd like to discuss it, Ivo. I think all of us who have lived on earth at all can use this as a sign we're removing ourselves from outright abusive situations or just the Matrix itself, which is abuse in disguise.

More observing, less judging
More responding, less reacting.
More self-love, less self-sabotage.
More boundaries, less resentment.
More inner peace, less confusion.
More faith, less fear.

Me: Ivo, some of these things are things you have to actively do and others are resultant states you land in as a result of taking these actions, I believe.

Ivo: They could be. However, you can still choose peace over confusion and that is an active choice, my love. Choosing faith is also an active choice.

Me: Well, whatever they are, I think this is a really good way for people to judge the state of their recovery from ….. life on earth. How do you react to situations now as opposed to ten, twenty or even more years ago?

For example, the neighbour came over again the other night, drunk as usual. We talked for a while and he wanted to keep me up past my bed time, which I am realizing I need to stick to otherwise suffer the consequences the next day. I went to bed at my usual time – 12:30, and let him wonder what he was going to do for the rest of the night. He tried to engage me in his chat about how sexy he is but I wouldn't have it. In the end he wanted to give me a hug, which I've realized long ago is more like a grope when you're dealing with lecherous men who have this agenda of trying to seduce you. When he said, “Can I have a hug?” I just said, “No.” I gave myself good marks for my responses the other night. I wasn't unfriendly but I'm not playing his game. He can just live with it. I responded. I didn't react. I held my power.

Knowledge created the power I have in dealing with him. I still wish I wasn't surrounded by drunks and drug addicts but I'm also finding in Canada it's very hard not to be. There are a lot of people with addiction problems in this country. I like the ones who brag about it; makes it easy to avoid them.

I think the one point about less judging and more observing is something that needs to be qualified. I believe judgment to be making negative statements about others, trashing them out. Like “He's a lecherous drunken asshole,” is a judgment, but the observation would be, “He's an alcoholic who's living in his own little world of delusion and because of this, he can get on others' nerves.” That's the observation. I think observing leads to more positive understanding of how to relate to other people, but just saying someone is an asshole or whatever leads to nowhere, just feeling like a victim.

Ivo: It does. You are correct, my love. As far as judgment goes, you must always be discerning when it comes to other people, because not to be leaves you naively playing their games and losing personal power.

Me: Tell me about it.

Ivo: I am. Being discerning does not mean you must hate the other person; it means you are taking personal responsibility for yourself and being cautious around others whose behaviour you may or may not understand.

Me: Which brings up the point about more boundaries and less resentment. Without boundaries that tell others where you stand, you're going to have a tough time getting through life. Many of us had our boundaries destroyed when we were children by controlling, abusive parents, so you end up going through a process of people continually violating you until you get so angry that you finally stand up for yourself. I did that for years. Ultimately, that is God's act of compassion because without the further abuse, you'd stay where you were, disempowered and feeling victimized and in my case, not being able to go home to Vega again. The good part of having suffered abuse is when you begin to say, “No more!” and stand up to abusers. Until you start to use it to empower yourself, you're just a victim.

When I took my first job at the oil factory where I worked for 12 years, it was like going from the fire into the frying pan. I developed full blown bulimia, where I would gorge on sugary and fatty foods and then throw them up. When I left that job to move to England, the bulimia stopped. I've maintained the habit of using sugar to modify moods, though, and am even making progress with that now, especially since it seems to be the crux of my chronic fatigue problem and all that ails my body. I might add that I was treated considerably better when I moved to London; their work environments were far better than anything I'd been exposed to in Canada, and I thank them for treating me so well. For once, I felt I had some right to not be abused. By this time, I was 30 years old and very emotionally scarred. It took me ten years afterwards before I finally got the guts up to face my childhood pain, but I did it. It wasn't easy but I got through it. This is re-empowerment of the divine feminine. Men can do this as well because the divine masculine needs to be re-anchored on this planet too. We all go through disempowerment as children so that more Light can ultimately be anchored on earth and the collective unconscious can change to reflect more compassion for all.

More self love, less self sabotage. I think that's an important point as well because how many times have I known before I committed to something that I was going to regret it. Sometimes you have to live within limitations, which is another thing you have to ultimately overcome. My big limitation has always been money. I've never particularly enjoyed working, obviously, and had a huge resentment against earning money and the system. I don't believe in our Matrix system of economic enslavement, to be sure, but I've learned that making money has nothing to do with the Matrix or any of the ways we've been taught we can use to earn money. I just use law of attraction now and there is no connecting physical process between my thoughts of earning more money and actually receiving it. I know my mind creates it now. When I want to sell more books, I simply say so, and it happens. I don't advertise and I don't flog the books. If you want to buy them, they're there for you. I don't have to peddle them which frankly, is a relief because that doesn't sit with me.

The other thing to realize about addictions, no matter which one it is you're addicted to, is that they will take on a life of their own. In other words, they will start to run your life, and eventually your whole life will be structured around getting another fix. Instead of being your solution for pain, they'll become the problem and create pain to justify your using again. You'll find ways to justify using, including not working boundaries and placing yourself in harm's way, in order to be victimized again. If you're doing this, suspect you may have an addiction or addictions and seek help if you are.

You can be addicted to many things, including bad relationships. If you haven't worked through old childhood stuff, you will still attract to you people who have something to teach you. And like another meme I saw recently stated, sometimes the lesson you need to learn is that you just deserve better. Perhaps we draw people to ourselves that are abusive because we abuse ourselves and they're there to point that fact out to you.

I dislike liars. Of course, being of the Light, I despise darkness which hides itself in lies. So of course, I attract loads of bullshitters. I dislike boundary violators, and people who don't respect my requests and my free will. Guess what? I get loads of them as well. I believe that I have to work on forgiveness and that's why I'm being given the opportunities with all these people. The other thing I believe is that I don't have it down pat yet, so I get more chances.

Ivo: Yes, my love. When you are working on developing compassion for others, for example, you will attract people who annoy you. If that is your initial response to them, then you must continue to work to become compassionate towards them. Perhaps by utilizing the law of surrender. Surrendering to the will of God to be more like it is. To be able to embody more of that consciousness within you. Remember the prayer that El Morya gave you, the one asking God to never stop letting you see his Light so that you can stay attached to him while living in a cacophony of learning opportunities.

You attract boundary violators to continue to examine your boundaries. Are they flexible or are they walls? Do you want to keep them where they are or change them?

Me: I have stringent boundaries because of my chronic fatigue. I've spent years around people who were chaotic and this only made my CFS worse. I'm looking into all avenues of recovery now, including the fact it could be a virus, and will take all courses of action available to follow. With CFS, the sky is the limit anyway. No matter what you do, you're probably helping yourself since all your bodily systems are affected.

Ivo: So the best cure for CFS is not reacting to others' provocations.

Me: Like I keep saying, “I'm not Jesus.”

Ivo: But it is possible to stop reacting to others and stop becoming angry when your boundaries are violated. You must simply understand that people do these things because this is the state of your world right now, and ask yourself why are you allowing yourself to suffer because of others' shortcomings?

Me: True. I still believe it has to do with unmet needs, though. Living here never met my needs, ever. I managed to survive, and at times that was even in question. I had to learn an entirely new way of living that I didn't even agree with. Then deal with a bunch of people who made being mean and nasty a way of life and who saw my kindness as weakness (this is very reptilian behaviour, by the way; in their eyes, it's justification for their becoming exploitative – because they think they can get away with it), especially family members, another thing I wasn't expecting nor could ever get used to, until now. I adapted to life on earth, but barely. I think many other lightworkers can relate to this. I made do because I had to. The only way out of this would have been suicide and I didn't do that. Thought of it a lot though, and I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that way either.

More inner peace, less confusion.

As for this one, I do feel this coming true for me. Absolutely. The other thing I do is take an active approach to inner peace: I put on relaxing music and sit and do nothing. I relax. And sometimes it's hard to justify relaxing when I have so much work to do and it's behind anyway, at least behind where I'd like it to be, but like the one guy said about CFS, you have to relax and never set your schedule up by the part of your personality that drives you. I have an over-worker aspect, over-responsible part of my personality that drives me to accomplish. This man calls it “The Achiever,” and he says never set up your work schedule when you feel the Achiever is in the driver's seat. Ultimately you have to learn to work while you're relaxed, which could be a challenge for me. Why would I work while I'm relaxing? Sounds like an oxy moron but it has to be done.

Less confusion? Yes, since I connected with soul, things are far more clear. I find more direct paths to things I want, and don't spend so much time submerged in guesswork and details. And I find I need less of this physical world as well. Materially and emotionally.

More faith, less fear.

Ivo: For this one, you must have more faith that your life is on the correct path. Even with alcoholic neighbours, neighbours that are thieves, low rent neighbourhoods and circumstances that are still beyond what you feel your entitlement is, you must still have faith. We will be together. The other men will fall away when they see you are committed to me.

Me: I am anyway but they don't see you around, so they figure they have a shot. I used to think getting older would be a respite from this dating nonsense, but it never stops.

Ivo: People always want to be with someone. That desire never goes away, my love. No matter how they distort it. (see our video on the Zeta Seal, released this past week).

Me: Yeah, but I thought they'd see me as less desirable because of my age. I still think it's because of that Cougar show that came out. Older women were now being seen as sex objects. Between that one and Duck Dynasty, my future seems to have been written in stone. My earlier life was more like “Everyone Loves Raymond,” a show I never found funny at all and could barely watch.

Ivo: Yes.

Me: Yeah, just look on TV to see what tomorrow's trends are going to be. Suddenly older women are desirable. Not when I was a kid, they weren't. They called them things like “spinsters” which sounds like a spider!

Ivo: And you see that the appreciation of the female has changed.

Me: It has but not all women want to be pursued. They don't. I even get emails full of love poetry from absolute strangers because I do this work. I know there's something that has to be said about this earth and I haven't put my finger on it yet. Every time I think I've seen it all, something else turns up. I wonder sometimes why I have to see all this behaviour, but then it's probably like the darkness is attracted to the Light.

Ivo: Which is what it is. You attract darkness. And that is because you are a transmuter, an Indigo as well. A natural healer.

Me: I hope I did them some good.

Ivo: Always, my love. Your high energy heals people without your even realizing it.

Me: I still wish I was one of these people who can laugh whenever they encounter anything crazy. I can't though. I need to lighten up. I envy them.

Ivo: Which is difficult for you, my love. You see and you care about what is being shown to you about the earth collective.

Me: It's not like it's all in my hands.

Ivo: It is not, my dear. The world is not all on your shoulders. You share the load with others who also care.

Me: I still think there's something about my reaction that I could change. Maybe a fear that all hell is going to break loose when I see behaviour I don't believe is healthy. I've been spending my whole life waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe goes back to my childhood. But in my mind, when I see dysfunctional, it usually ends in an explosion or even violence and that's a hard feeling to shake. To see people with no intellectual or emotional skills interacting, I'm waiting for the bomb to go off. And that's the thing: people shoulder the tension until Friday night, where they go out and drink and let off all the tension they've accumulated through the week. Or they just hate each other and gossip behind each others' backs to relieve their tension. So maybe I shouldn't be so worried about bombs.

I think that's what's happening now in a lot of countries: people are pissed off and they're rioting against their governments. This is the bomb going off that I'm talking about. We've crossed that line as a world. Complaining about the powers that were isn't doing it for so many anymore. Now they're acting it out.

Ivo: This could be, my love. That is why you take it so seriously. But send it love and leave it be.

Me: Good idea. Thank you Ivo.

Ivo: My love, you are most welcome.

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