I Feel Happy, Said the Troll Under the Bridge | Steve Beckow

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By Steve Beckow, August 24, 2020

Exploration has become fun.

I’m lying here, past sunset. The sky goes from red to orange to yellow to green to light blue, dark blue, and black. It’s really beautiful.

And I feel happy.

Me, the troll under the bridge. Ebenezer Scrooge. Bah! Humbug!

No, no, really. I feel happy.

There’s no Constant Comment sitting on my shoulder and somehow its disappearance has liberated my good feelings.

Now what used to be a trial, to quote Sri Shankara, has become a gymnasium. (1)

So much of my energy was repressed, my creativity bottled up because Constant Comment would chime in and rain on my parade or discourage me. But that’s now absent from my world.

I feel like a young adult who just arrived at his university dorm, his first time away from home. Anything is possible. The world is my oyster.

Isn’t that interesting? My worst enemy turns out to be the voice in my head, the constant clache of carping critics that sat on my shoulder and demeaned me.

And where did they go? I have a month before I can ask Michael.

The upshot is that I’ve been pursuing the awareness path with new vigor and curiosity. I feel like a frisky colt.

But at the same time I also know there are things that need to be held back, as long as there are trolls and other paid agents around. My nature is to be transparent, but my mission requires me to be circumspect.

Isn’t that what Blossom’s last message (and the one before that) were all about? (2) I’m busting at the seams to say more than it’d be wise to say, in the present climate.

For now, I have to content myself knowing that everything will come out in time and … meanwhile … I feel happy.

Footnotes

(1) “Once we become conscious, even dimly, of the Atman [the Self], the Reality within us, the world takes on a very different aspect. It is no longer a court of justice but a kind of gymnasium.” (Shankara in Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher lsherwood, Shankara’s Crest-Jewel of Discrimination. Hollywood: Vedanta Press, 1975; c1947, 24.)

(2) “The Federation of Light through Blossom Goodchild, Aug. 16, 2020,” at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2020/08/16/the-federation-of-light-through-blossom-goodchild-aug-16-2020/ and “The Federation of Light through Blossom Goodchild, Aug. 11, 2020,” at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2020/08/10/the-federation-of-light-through-blossom-goodchild-aug-11-2020/.

Source: Golden Age of Gaia