How do I Change Myself? | Steve Beckow

By Steve Beckow, August 5, 2020

There’s so much I want to say about the process I’ve just been through so things are not missed.

The ideas are tumbling out.

What I did was I processed a root vasana or core issue. Processing a vasana is the (wholesome) alternative to blaming and shouting at another person.

Long ago I swore I would not “keep the family secrets” (domestic violence) and now I’ve gone too far in the other direction: being far too direct for most people to tolerate. Encounter groups may not have helped.

Another instance of the guardian becoming the guard.

The root vasana is father hatred and the elaborated vasana is “I won’t keep the family secret of domestic violence [or other circumstance].” These were triggered and Vesuvius erupted.

Here I am in my rocking chair, having coralized around this issue. Nodding away and telling my exaggerated and self-serving story. By crackey!

Of course I’m right. That goes without saying. But deadright? Have I killed other people off to make myself right?

Ideas keep tumbling out. I know from my general experience that a leader’s words and actions get exaggerated in the retelling – routinely. If I’m to be the head of a large corporation, I’m going to have to avoid extremes for just this reason.

Furthermore, I also know from historical study of world wars that a dictator just grows and grows in the desire to control until mistakes accumulate and he/she falls. Absolute power over a company seems fairly similar to absolute power over a country.

If I allow my father hatred/anger/fear vasana to continue into the post-Reval economy, the effects could be devastating. Who needs a little dictator at the helm of a very large enterprise?

Important

So wrap up everything I just said and put it on the shelf. Take down from the shelf the image I received of a very, very large boulder sitting on top of and pinning down my inner child.

Having realized this, I now have two very good reasons to now wish to be done with this vasana. Two very good reasons to switch my vote and drop it.

If I were to do this, then I draw a line under what just happened. What just happened is what every wife or husband wants their spouse to do: Change. (1)

I can’t change another, but I can ask another to change. If they’re willing, what might it take for them to change their vote?

What did it take for me to change mine? (A) I needed to have good reasons for dropping my protective number. (B) I needed to be shown, in some way, that it led to something better.

That’s what it took to switch my vote from “I will protect [myself, little brother Steve]” to “This is killing me. I don’t want this protective number any longer.”

These are the circumstances under which I’d drop my knee-jerk protective impulse and all that goes with it (suspiciousness, disbelief, depression, etc.). These may prove to be the same steps a willing partner would need to follow to successfully change his or her vote.

I assert that it takes a genuine change of vote for a change of thought and behavior to follow. It can’t be superficial. I believe this applies to matters of race, religion, or politics as well as personal growth.

So processing a vasana can lead to a change of vote, which then leads to a change of thought and behavior. Projecting a vasana onto another only increases resentment and separation.

Feeling right carries a certain kind of pleasure. As long as we enjoy it and see no costs, we continue with the vasana.

I’m encouraging us not to project the vasana but to process those that come up as the energies increase, squeezing them out of us. And the way that I just did it, even though I resorted to several methodologies in no planned manner, is one version of the way I recommend a vasana be processed. (2)

Then, instead of suppressing the very individual we think we’re protecting, we’ll allow that person out into the light of day. We (the protector) can now cede control of the vehicle and enjoy a pensioned life of peace and relaxation.

Yes, we have to let go of our story. But guess what? We made it up anyways. (3)

We won’t need a story where we’re going. Fifteen minutes in the Ocean of Love and we’ll have forgotten what a story is. (4)

Footnotes

(1) Werner Erhard’s discussion of transformation vs. change is right there in the foreground of my mind. But given that I’m writing to everyone on the planet, I’m not choosing to discuss transformation right now.

(2) This version is a bit more organized: “How to Handle Unwanted Feelings: The Upset Clearing Process,” December 29, 2018, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/12/29/how-to-handle-unwanted-feelings-the-upset-clearing-process-2/


(2) I watch myself do it all the time.

(3) If I’m in this much disarray from a gentle increase in the energies, can you imagine what would follow a really large increase? This is a demonstration of why Ascension in the physical body must be gradual.

Source: Golden Age of Gaia