Embodiment: There Can Only be One | Steve Beckow

By Steve Beckow, August 26, 2020

Part 1/2

If you were the Humpty Dumpty man, had a great fall, and smashed into a million pieces, how would you put yourself back together again?

What mantra/affirmation would you use?

I am one?

Sixty-six years after dissociating in that way, I’m nearing the point of becoming one again. (1) I never want to say the process is complete because another aspect of it immediately appears.

When Constant Comment (2) disappeared recently, my ability to meditate was enhanced and my desire to meditate increased. I was able to really “get into” my meditation in a way I hadn’t previously.

Keep in mind that I asked Archangel Michael to help me expand, get bigger to handle the duties being asked of me. I consider the events that are happening are related to that request.

I should mention as well that Michael and I have a system of communicating. He gives me a jolt in the right arm that means “yes.” “No” is no response at all and a feeling of certainty that the answer is no.

What’s missing from the description of the meditation, below, are all the jolts Michael gave me confirming I was on the right path or to try this or go deeper with that.

Much of the description that follows has been rendered while events were happening. I consciously would leave the process to write down something I did not want to forget. (3)

I realize stopping to write while in the middle of an experience limits the depth I can reach. But I’m first of all a pathfinder and only secondarily a seeker.

All of us have already ascended in other lifetimes. We’ll all enjoy that status again later. Meanwhile there’s brush to clear.

I’ve never been in a meditation before that unfolded as quickly as this one did.

The first thing that occurred for me was that “there can only be one of me” arose in my mind as a decree. “I am one” arose as an affirmation. And using them actually produced a pacifying effect on me, a very salutary effect.

A process culminating in reassembly then took place in response to my decree.

Being, as a meditation, for me means the relinquishing of all activity of the body, mind, and emotions, while allowing the activity of the Observer/Self to continue. It means surrendering all to the One.

As the meditation progressed, I discovered that beingness and surrender were the same thing.

To be = to surrender

Thinking of it as surrendering helped me become still and silent. Silent is especially hard for me because I keep having a thought and in an instant I’m writing an article in my head.

I notice how much easier it is however to “be” without Constant Comment.

At one point I had the intuition that something was about to happen. I’ll pick up the thread tomorrow.

(To be concluded tomorrow.)

Footnotes

(1) I was severely dissociated after my Dad yelled at me from inches away from my face, when I was around 7. I shattered into a million pieces. The next fifty years were spent discovering that I was dissociated and then putting myself back together again.

(2) Constant Comment is the gaggle of carping critics that sit on one’s shoulder and spoil every thought, feeling, and action. A dissociated person would be expected to have more of them.

See “I Feel Happy, Said the Troll Under the Bridge,” August 24, 2020, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/?p=312813.

(3) I’m an Ascension ethnographer and journalist. While I’m interested in the process and the outcome, my first priority is to record what happens.

Source: Golden Age of Gaia



By Steve Beckow, August 27, 2020

Part 2/2

(Concluded from yesterday.)

I decreed my oneness. I commanded that I be one from this moment onwards.

And I did become one. And no sooner had I done that, then another, higher part of myself returned to me like a Slinkey reassembling itself.

The one followed the other in rapid succession. These things never come with labels so I don’t know what higher version of me that was.

But it joined with me from my back, the same way I returned to my body in 1977.

I invited it to look through my eyes. When it did, we merged, just as I did in 1977 with my body.

I then constructed an imaginary titanium ball around the two of us, to keep us protected, all of this in meditation.

And I asked all my past lives and other aspects of myself to return. I invited each of them to look through my eyes and we merged.

I left off this process feeling stronger, more confident, more capable.

Michael is very definitely helping me get bigger.

I was very much surprised that, when my higher self (higher than me, anyways) merged with me, there wasn’t the equivalent of thunder and lightning as I expected.

Its presence was supremely subtle, gentle, soothing. Again, that was completely unanticipated.

This is not enlightenment. If I can borrow Adyashanti’s term, I call this embodiment.

My higher self and all my aspects have embodied in me the same way I did with my body in 1977.

I am one again.

The next day….

I return to my meditation where I left off.

It’s not lost on me that my birth plan would involve massive dissociation at age 7 and I’d spend the rest of my life trying to put Humpty together again. Keep in mind the emphasis on achieving oneness.

And then consider the slingshot effect. A survivor of child sexual abuse leading the movement against child trafficking. Women survivors of sexual harassment and abuse confronting their abusers and cause an earthquake in places like Hollywood. Boys who were bullied as children becoming international judo masters.

The abuse is like a slingshot, pulling the stone further and further back with greater and greater force.

In my case, I was severely dissociated after my Dad yelled at me. The severity of it brings the slingshot effect into play.

Here I am with a life-puzzle of putting Humpty Dumpty together again.

The slingshot is pulled back with the target being achieving oneness.

Fracture into a million pieces and put yourself back together again. But when you have achieved that level of oneness (here comes the slingshot effect), why stop there? You’ve spent your whole life studying the process. Why not go for Oneness?

I’d love to but I’m in service. Achieving oneness suits my purposes. But achieving Oneness would be the end of the road for me vis-a-vis this Ascension. After that, hasta la vista, baby.

Nevertheless, I’ve reached a new level of oneness, of reassembly, of reintegration with myself and I actually do feel more confident, more capable, and stronger. And I can always explore Oneness from afar.

This is exactly the kind of work I need to do to get ready for ever-nearing events.

Source: Golden Age of Gaia