The Kryptonite of Being Wrong: Getting to the Heart of Fear
June 4, 2019
By Steve Beckow
I seem to be getting down to experiencing a level of fear that would have been inaccessible to me even a year ago.
It’s with me all the time. It’s nothing other than a vasana (or core issue). And it isn’t a new vasana. Things don’t seem to work that way.
It’s the same vasana(s) that I’ve been working on up till now, only deeper and deeper.
In the same way, going in the other direction, we get the same love, the same bliss as we’ve always sought, but just deeper and deeper.
So no summer excitement here. Only reruns.
How can I characterize this fear? Well, my Dad’s scrapbook put the matter succinctly: “What did I do wrong now?”
A fear of being wrong. When I say those five words, they’re like a key in the lock. Say the words/Turn the key and the upset/key unlocks.
I fear being wrong. Yes, I’m almost paralyzed inside, as the driver of the car, in the face of the kryptonite of being wrong.
There’s nothing to do but be aware of it. Awareness is not neutral, as we discussed years ago. It’s dissolutive. (I made the word up.)
Rest in simple awareness of a feeling and the feeling soon dissolves. Resist it, suppress it, deny it and it persists forever.
I just need to get the depth of my fear of being wrong. It isn’t enough to simply see the species of fear, so to speak. I have to experience it, walk a mile in its shoes, get the full extent of the fear before it finally lifts.
And it’s so subtle, so universal below the level of my everyday awareness that I could easily think I’ve experienced it completely when I haven’t.
About this, Archangel Michael once said that we in the world think we’ve finished with an issue when peace has been restored. But we haven’t. We push it down and it comes up somewhere else later on.
Similarly, until I experience this fear to its very depths, it will not release its grip. That is the way we’re designed, in my opinion.
This is utterly ironic. I’m writing by candlelight, the electricity in our building having totally gone. My laptop will soon give out. I’m metaphorically as totally in darkness as a person can get.
Just as I dove to the depths of the heart and there found the Self at Xenia, so now I dive to the depths of my being to get to the heart of this fear. I maintain my awareness of it.
Source: Golden Age of Gaia
June 4, 2019
By Steve Beckow
I seem to be getting down to experiencing a level of fear that would have been inaccessible to me even a year ago.
It’s with me all the time. It’s nothing other than a vasana (or core issue). And it isn’t a new vasana. Things don’t seem to work that way.
It’s the same vasana(s) that I’ve been working on up till now, only deeper and deeper.
In the same way, going in the other direction, we get the same love, the same bliss as we’ve always sought, but just deeper and deeper.
So no summer excitement here. Only reruns.
How can I characterize this fear? Well, my Dad’s scrapbook put the matter succinctly: “What did I do wrong now?”
A fear of being wrong. When I say those five words, they’re like a key in the lock. Say the words/Turn the key and the upset/key unlocks.
I fear being wrong. Yes, I’m almost paralyzed inside, as the driver of the car, in the face of the kryptonite of being wrong.
There’s nothing to do but be aware of it. Awareness is not neutral, as we discussed years ago. It’s dissolutive. (I made the word up.)
Rest in simple awareness of a feeling and the feeling soon dissolves. Resist it, suppress it, deny it and it persists forever.
I just need to get the depth of my fear of being wrong. It isn’t enough to simply see the species of fear, so to speak. I have to experience it, walk a mile in its shoes, get the full extent of the fear before it finally lifts.
And it’s so subtle, so universal below the level of my everyday awareness that I could easily think I’ve experienced it completely when I haven’t.
About this, Archangel Michael once said that we in the world think we’ve finished with an issue when peace has been restored. But we haven’t. We push it down and it comes up somewhere else later on.
Similarly, until I experience this fear to its very depths, it will not release its grip. That is the way we’re designed, in my opinion.
This is utterly ironic. I’m writing by candlelight, the electricity in our building having totally gone. My laptop will soon give out. I’m metaphorically as totally in darkness as a person can get.
Just as I dove to the depths of the heart and there found the Self at Xenia, so now I dive to the depths of my being to get to the heart of this fear. I maintain my awareness of it.
Source: Golden Age of Gaia
The Kryptonite of Being Wrong: Getting to the Heart of Fear | Steve Beckow
![The Kryptonite of Being Wrong: Getting to the Heart of Fear | Steve Beckow]()
Reviewed by TerraZetzz
on
6/04/2019 12:14:00 PM
Rating:
