Mary Christ-less | Pine Cone

Everybody Loves Raymond - The Angry Family

https://youtu.be/Qamxu3pdJf8



I am angry about any charade of Merry Christmas having anything at all to do with Jesus, the man, or even his Mother, wife, kids or any Mortal Creation Mother Earth Christmas parade of Hatred gone, so Dark-viral. I am a Sex-slave child that grew up Old-man way-past victim-adulthood without any experience of Love on Mother Earth, except codependent sick-loyal ‘here doggy, here doggy’ gelded resentment Barking deaf-dog Hell, and I am sorry for hiding my anger about feminist Nests of man-hate like the Golden Age of the Divine Mother physical-role Anti Christ Gaia from Man-hate Hell.

I expressed my first bitter taste of anger as a little boy, and was killed 40 times by my Mother-abuser and my Grandmother-abuser, who died during her last orgasm, all over me puking, Golden Gaia shower-pissing, shitting, and coming all at the same time she Boob-fat gag-smothered me enough to, even pass out listening to her last death throw guttural grunts, and groans, even at their little boy man-hate Christmas-orgy celebration of their, so called Motherhood nesting in the GMO-breast of Mary Christ-less feminist man-hate.

Little did, do, will I, ever know, just how much little boy\married-man Sex-slave anger in-denial keeps me festering about Jesus becoming absent at, so called Merry Christmas, just like whole countries on Mother Earth are kidnapped by the Vatican/Crown/DC feminist bowel movement Mother-role diarrhea anti-christ Labor Union strike breakers, that took over the so called Demoncratic Nation non-Conventional Old man Bush GMO Mother Sex-slave roundup Mary Christ-less poison mind-control Holiday feminism-favorite charade en-Vatican Mass Ritual Parade exorcism-in-reverse.

I wrote out my 1st step in Sex-abuse recovery, where we get honest about Sex-slavery on Mother Earth Cannibalism in Hate-matrix mind-control Octopus Mafia-ville, and I had more sexual experiences by the age of 10, than I have had since, at the age of 73. Not one gelded sexual experience was with my permission, so I want to, finally understand the unwritten rules of gender bigotry engagement, that I’m experiencing for the first time in my long life of Love-denial on Mother Earth xenophobia gone man-hate viral really bad, and mostly for Religious feminine Mary Christ-less man-hate evil’s sake.

Like, never having any sexual experience before, I have never learned the unwritten rule of Christmas feminist take-over, until going back to a church with a new friend last night on Mary Christ-less in-a-manger physical-role anti-christ evil eve. O M Good GOD “Minister here doggy here doggy’ all over again!!! While I have been devoted to the Light of Christ forgiveness-motives, Mother Earth Mary has completely replaced what I couldn’t, or wouldn’t see, while I have been busy trying to remain, as true to myself as any Sannyasin Monk, and Holy Spirit Light Mystic in-training could, ever non-charade Mary-parade any more.

My new friend self-disclosed over, and over, so clearly that he didn’t know if his recent ex-lover, still loved him, or not, last Night at his Dark-feminist church. I asked him if he can imagine he might be angry at his ex-lover because she borrowed money, and took his engagement ring, as if that’s all she had to do, to charade her man-hate from being raped as a little Girl Sex-slave herslef, just like me. When I asked him if he is angry in-denial a little bit, his continual response was “I don’t know if she, really loves me?” This was how that MK Ultra Satanist family Breeder answered me when she responded about her raper Father that, “I don’t know if he, really Loves me?”

My Brother came to mind, who is divorced, and codependent-resentment sick-loyal married again to another ‘here doggy, here doggy handler’ of our same Mother replication, so Thank you Holy Spirit nurturing for experiencing this Mary Christ-less eve of evil awareness, that I am angry, myself, just like my new friend in-denial, and my brother that grew up in the same house with this Sex-slave denied by the whole of Mother Earth man-hate, and their worshiping Mary in repplacement of any Jesus Light weaver, left by the side of every dusty road, untoward evil man gelded vengeance celebration on the the wrong-dated famous 25th just like every other mind-control bowel movement from the Vatican Valentine Jesuit infiltrator demons did, do, will divide, and conquer gender-roles from cannibal breeder fish in the Kill barrel Sex-slave Love-lorn lost-soul smelly old fish little GMO-ball boy-hell.

I am angry to discover my anger at a political group at the so called Golden age of feminism Gaia of the so called Divine-feminine, so I am being as honest, as I am innocent to, finally realize Sex-slave suffering little girl abused projector man-haters can’t, don’t, won’t ever Love me, and especially if I self-disclose my self-ridiculing naivety, that got me killed as a little boy, as many times as I was raped by Matriarchs, that doesn’t feel any less a humiliation than writing my heart out on a Mary Christ-less eve site, just like I kept getting beaten to death by a family-motive unwritten-rule, like any Roman Empire of total Satanic-evil DNC-control 1st born male-child continuation.

I hear my writing, and listen to my voice-overs to help me not dissociate from what comes from Holy Spirit nurturing my forgiveness clarity intention, and I haven’t said, already any differently than I woke up in me last night at Magdalene man-hate church, so while every female gossip watched me burn here, I had no idea that all my ideas were mine, but I didn’t realize the Truth to bare until this new codependent non-friend kept repeating my brother’s and my hidden Mother-Mary Christ-less mantra “I don’t know if she, really loves me?” I feel as sick as we three unwise men feel Loyal, just like Stockholm Syndrome has silenced, all men from being able to be honest about their bigotry unwritten-rule to, never be angry about women’s right to be right, all the time, or emotional gelding Blackmail will catch up with you, unless you can disappear like any Tree-less Mary Christ-less Pine Cone can Creator Light can can tip toe outta the overwhelming Divine-dark Mortal-creation Vatican-demon Political Mother-mafia 25th-wrong Time-addiction here.

I want to thank Voyages Of Golden Age of Gaia man-hate for showing up as more co-creation Quanta from my family of non-origin replication surety, because I, actually wanted to believe, that this lifetimes Karma would not bite me in the ass agin, if I kept writing honestly my innocent-self out of a wet paper-mother orangutang red ass Mary Christ-less Nemesis Old bitter Guttural Death throw ‘it’s all my fault’ Unwritten Roman-rule Vatican-demon Bag. I wonder if I self-motivate my dear-True Self outta here, that my anger will subside, as fast as I embrace my need to let go of any more sick-loyalty to Man-hate Mother-replication Mary Christ-less vacation abusers? I hope it will be as much a relief to any others as it may be the best thing for me to leave, since sliced bread sandwiched in between all man-hate “I don’t know if she, really loves me?” false up~risings.

Mary Christ-less everyone…

Belly Button Brigade 062111

In 1984 during my divorce time and grief, I saw a “Ribbon of Black Ladies Circling the Earth”. The ribbon circled round and round the Earth many times cutting off the sunshine Light of the Spirit with a powerful grid of collective hate. The “Black Ladies” are women and mothers with rage, hidden rage from sex abuse, emotional incest, and exploitation, who are bitter with mature elemental hatred from fear and resentment:

Victim/victimizer women without recovery who use others and are used up themselves
Sorrow-filled women not held responsible for their own actions and bad Mothering
Arrogant women, self centered on their body value, narcissistic with self indulgence
Pouting women, like hurt children, perpetrating with Lawyers in hit and run extortion
Resentful women “Playing Dolls” with our children, prioritizing in Mommyhood gangs
Mother-children raising children like cats in a sack clawing in projection and insanity
Bitter hateful women with black hearts, vengeance, and exploitation dominating motives
Mean Spirited women with silk scarves, grim lines on upper lips, depressed and codependent

Unlike men who are now ex-fathers as well as ex-husbands, when divorced women work for their money they rebel by keeping their money jealously for their self-indulgences, while demanding money for the children as if money for ‘children’ only can come from men. These “Black Lady” women and Mothers go on vacation from the human race, neglect to feel their pain, or learn humility, nor make amends when wrong to learn to down-size their ego. Together they help insulate each other in a sort of bubble of denial glamor as they worship their bodies, while they are totally exploited by Corporation products that promise to make them sexy and feminine once again. These women step up on the black ribbon of dried black blood from lying lawyer tongues awaggin towing little play coquet wagons filled with money from their children, ex-husbands, fathers, uncles, brothers, and nephews.

At the beginning end of this Black Ribbon of narcissism are a whole new source of “Black Ladies-in-training” that we can call the “Belly Button Brigade” of young females whose mothers buy underwear for them at adult-like shops glamorizing sexual parts of children. This addictive exploitive, sick and foul festival of over-exposed young women are gleefully recruited toward the vacation ribbon in our darkening sky. These young women adorn their skinny anorexic, and bulimic bodies with thousands of treatments and colors to entice-and-reject, beguile, and manipulate, to exploit others for their false worth and self indulgence. These narcissistic girls-to-be-”Black Ladies” show skin, boobs, bulges, hair, belly buttons, thighs, butts, and cracks with Power-over male-ridicule buckets of indulgent attitude.

Worse than the Lawyers of women are the hundreds of humiliations, and blameful attitudes toward men as our hateful mores are hidden in the machinery of our Status Quo, while men suffer humiliation, and homeless imprisonment from crazy making continual double standards. These “Black Lady” women are the Mothers of our children and they project onto our children similar codependent-resentment, that turns husbands into ex-fathers that, still have to hide their rage for Mothers psychically incesting our, already emotionally incested children. All wives understand, all too well, if only subconsciously, that wives’ mothers-in-law are the best hidden resource to keep control over little boy men-husbands to use double messages to keep men emotional hostages in Blackmail-generational tag-teams. Women know best the power of bad mothering to continue controlling their husbands, still irrationally afraid of, even dead Mother handlers, deep down in everyones collective-addiction subconscious.

This scene of a ribbon of “Black Ladies” strolling on a strip of dried blood from lying Crown Lawyers tongues awaggin, and a festival of girls in-waiting, the “Belly Button Brigade”, all together darkening our sky, has a Satanic ISIS Family Triangulation cheering squad. There is a huge source of bitter women cheering on the “Belly Button Brigade”, the “Black ladies, and their Lawyers, and they seem to live quietly but, imminently exude a lust-raising dark energy for more Hell for, all from their unhappy side-line vulture perches. Unhappy codependent women in sad marriages, more as whores, abhor their husbands, but stay imprisoned for the money, Sex-slave Owned and Owe-woe security.

Mothers in unhappy families and “Black Ladies” feel like they are swimming while pushing a raft with their children on it all alone in the cold Atlantic, all the way from one side of this forever seeming pond to the other side for about twenty odd years of deep depression. These Earth Mothers decided to “Live for their Children” and are, very angry, filled with resentment, and Dark energy from horrifying depression as Grapes of Wrath victim/victimizer/caretakers. These women put their husbands in between God, and themselves by believing their, only security comes from their MAN. When any of us (Man or Woman) turn to God within, and away from Mortal Creation addiction, new Trust-faith in Spirit Light magically secures us, without so much angry, and needy need for human family. This silent cheering squad supports, and creates the endless hordes of unhappy women in the darkening grid continuing loops of endless dry bloody blackened hate Ribbon.

On my Path to Trust-Faith in God 7/20/2006

On my devoted path through many blocks and memories, I have caterpillar-tower crawled out through a rusty hole in the bucket, that contains the Earth, and all the worms chasing their tails (people stuck in the Mortal-distraction parade of temptations). Some people would use the phrase "Thinking outside the box", perhaps. As a male survivor of incest, I felt like an outsider in healing circles where sexually abused women exuded their rage for men. These groups were "The only game in town" for me since I was, very poor. These suffering female heroes projected their perpetrators onto me. When I was vulnerable, they would walk out of meetings, talk over, laugh, humiliate-interrupt, and some would try, too hard to cover their rage with feigned pity. This token male suffered the abuse and alienation when these women formed male-less coffee groups, and private inner circle shunning meetings. That token male was me. This part of my recovery is a Mother-replication re-victimization.

My Grandmother, on my step-father’s side, had lost her husband, and moved into our three-boy children house with us. She and my mother sexually abused us alternately. When we were all together in the same room, they each denigrated me to help keep the secret. They didn't want the other to suspect the abuse, and they, surely had to control the little boy Jeffrey from showing signs of sexual-affection. Then, one particularly traumatic day, my Grandmother died on top of me when she was coming’n going. This sort of woke me up and I, still remember the ugly guttural sounds, and the ugly look of her old fat body smothering me laying under her, half on the floor, and half on the bed.

All Hell broke loose in our alcoholic family, and I wonder if I, still blame myself for what happened. Not only am I a "male", rare “supposed male” incest survivor, I am, what the whole World thinks is an, even stranger rarity, a survivor of female perpetrators. I remember a woman of a female perpetrator (her Mother) come in and out of our groups. She had so much extra shame! She used a phrase to describe her feelings about having a female perpetrator, "A freak among freaks". She went out and killed herself, and that scared me. I was, not only a freak among freaks, I was an male-outsider, not even, a female perpetrated freak among female-freaks.

One day, after meditation, I realized how frustrated I was explaining just one of many ways men/I, are/am shamed and humiliated in this World in the rusty bucket. I had been working hard to heal, apple pie was no longer sacred to me, and I had to violate the taboo of honoring Motherhood and the taboo of honoring Nationalism in a country that protects perpetrating Mothers, and blames little boys and girls. I know one girl who eliminated herself, before she got her self-blame healed. She did us all a favor, so we wouldn't have to look at the truth. I don't like it when the perpetrators win; I am not dead; I am talking; and I am healing shame right now.

It was such a struggle to get validation that I began to validate myself. I thought, "When I am shamed and humiliated, I lose my trust, and TRUST is so intertwined with faith, that I reasoned that humiliation takes away my FAITH". I really got motivated then! I stopped trying to get Mother Earth validation for any one way I am shamed in this World and I wrote “The list”, the whole list, all at once. I filed it away, and stopped worrying about whether I was right, or not. I know what keeps me from faith-in-God and what is, not healthy for my soul. So here it is, from a Sex-abuse survivor with a male voice:

THE LIST 9/26/95

War- little boys observe males killing and being killed in wars and boys get terrified and shamed and don't trust that they are safe

Prisons- little boys observe males are punished in prisons and boys get terrified and shamed and don't trust that they are safe

Capital Punishment- little boys observe that males are executed and boys get terrified and shamed and don't trust that they are safe

Divorce- little boys observe that males lose their homes and their children and their income and get terrified and shamed and don't trust that they are safe

Nurturing- little boys aren't treated softly nor are they expected to nurture softly and they get shamed and they don't trust that they are capable of love

Rough Treatment Compared to Girls- fathers and mothers and teachers and police and medical people treat boys rough compared to girls and boys get terrified and shamed and they don't trust that they are safe

Male Roles are Harsh Compared to Female Roles- little boys observe that male roles (changing tires, outside work, construction, kitchen work with fryolators, moving, etc.) are tough and they get shamed and they don't trust that they are worthwhile

Toilets- little boys observe that men's rooms are not private (foul, lack curtains, mirrors, furniture, space, etc.) and they are shamed and don't trust that they are worthwhile

Sex Abuse- males observe that there is no protection for boys from sex abuse, no healing resources for incest victims, no expectations to heal from abuse and they are shamed and don't trust that they are safe

Physical Abuse- males observe that there is no protection for boys from physical abuse, no healing resources for victims, no expectation to heal from abuse and they are shamed and don't trust that they are safe

Exploitation of Males for Money- Males observe that their worth in marriage is $ money, that their worth to society is measured by their $ money's worth, their job, their property. (Young men are told that "if you want a woman you have to support her") If you want to make love with a woman you pay $ money for prostitute or pay $ money for date or pay a lot of $ money for marriage}} divorce}} alimony and child support and men are shamed and they don't trust that they are safe to be sexual or to love

Males as Protectors- males observe that they are expected to even risk their lives to protect women and children (in rescues we know "Women and children first" is the rule) and males are shamed and they don't trust that they are safe

Child Support- males observe that child support is really woman support as there is very little, if ever, $ money paid to fathers and called child support and men are duped and shamed and they don't trust that they are worth while

Males are Buffoons in Sitcoms and Movies- males observe that most males in entertainment are fools, abused, and play roles of insensitive, stupid, bungling idiots and men are shamed and don't trust that they have worth

Talk Shows with Male Bashing- men observe that there is male bashing on talk shows and that there is a lack of validation of male abuse on talk shows and men are shamed and don't trust that they are safe

Human Rights Commission and Other Efforts Cause Reverse Discrimination- males observe that Human Rights Commission and other protection agencies are intended, not for them, but for women and minorities, and men are shamed and don't trust that they are safe and protected

Males are Kicked in the Crotch- what a shaming observation for males to be regularly shown in entertainment, feminist groups, rape groups, to be abused at their essence of maleness and they are shamed and don't trust that they are safe as males nor have worth (What a betrayal)

Condoms are Flagrantly and Threateningly Pushed as Women's Preferred Birth and Disease Control-I have seen fishbowls full of rainbow colored condoms in welfare agencies; males are shamed and abused by the methods of pushing condoms as the panacea; sometimes when I feel the anger about this, it seems that feminists would prefer to put king size condoms over the heads and down over the bodies of every male, and men are shamed and don't trust that they are safe

Feminist Groups- women help other women get jobs and help prevent men from getting jobs and men are shamed and don't trust, "Deadbeat Dads" in newspapers is shaming, women's groups, and lobbies, fight too hard and polarize men and come from hatred and anger and men are shamed and don't trust that they are safe

Women Turn to Other Women for Sex- easier, more appropriate gay sex for women than men, magazines, movies, sex movies, women focus more on their bodies for self-worth, (make-up, clothes, more exposure, their worth as sexual beings, their value as baby/$ producers, etc.) and males are shamed and they don't trust that they are worthwhile

Nudity of Women OK; Not OK for Men- males are shamed about their bodies and don't trust they are safe or worthwhile

Man Says NO to Sex Compared to Woman Says NO to Sex- "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!" women are encouraged to say no, control sex, and men are expected to always say yes, and to perform with Blackmail-erection, and be in charge of woman's orgasm, and men are shamed and don't trust they have power or are safe

Male Incest Survivors are Jailed- since we don't help the male incest and sex abuse survivor, where do they go? We jail men when they act out the shame and rage of abuse; we don't jail women, we help them in rape agencies, women support groups, family crisis shelters, hospital "Women's units", college courses and therapies, etc., men are terrified and shamed and blamed and don't trust there is a safe place for them

Male Mentally Ill are Jailed and Women Mentally Ill are Aided and Supported to Heal- males are shamed and don't trust there is a safe place for them

Men Don't Talk and Complain About These Atrocities- censured males are isolated when they need validation, even from help from other men who are closed off to feelings, macho males, womanizer males, drunk males, and men are shamed and don't trust that they are safe to see the truth
Males as Drunks- males are shown bad roles of drunken males as majority of drunks and this role of the drunken male is shaming and men don't trust they have worth

Males are Encouraged to Fight in Competition Over Females- males are shown to pride fully possess females and fight over females by male animal rituals and male human rituals and males are shamed and don't trust they have worth and are safe from physical harm

Male Victim Not Accepted Role- males are not allowed to admit their helplessness, discuss their abuse, nor identify their victimizations and men are shamed and ridiculed and they don't trust that they are safe

Males Don't Cry- women and men tease, poke fun, shame boys and men when they cry, we fix them quickly with band-aid solutions, abandon them emotionally, and abuse them when they show signs of weakness or frailty and they are shamed and they don't trust that it is safe to feel

Men as Fathers- males observe "Ghost Dad" roles of fathers as normal, expected; males are not nurtured by fathers and they don’t nurture as fathers and males are shamed and they don't trust that they have child-nurturing worth

Males are quickly Accused as Sexual Perpetrators- males are quickly blamed as sex offenders with an attitude "better safe than sorry" when reporting and men are shamed and don't trust they can love
Males Abandoned by Partner at Child's Birth- mothers abandon partners at children's birth and the priority of the adult partnership is wrongly inverted (without the partnership the child's welfare diminishes rapidly) children are regularly emotionally incested by mothers who love too much, and substitute mothering as priority to being an adult partner, and males are shamed and don't trust their needs are important.

Everybody Loves Raymond Uses Active Listening - from Parent Effectiveness Training

https://youtu.be/4VOubVB4CTU