Last Few Moments | Steve Beckow

Walk in the park

These may be the last "sane" moments before incessant busy-ness sets in. I find myself continually drawn into the stillness.

You probably see a causal relationship between those two statements but for me they're just what is.

I find I'm walking more and more slowly these days. If it's raining outside, I walk in my apartment. Or in the rain.

When I become aware of each footstep, I find each footfall is in fact different. I land slightly differently each time I place my foot on the floor.

Sometimes ball first. Sometimes heel. Sometimes flat. Left side. Right side. Wobbly.

I hunger to slow time down and just experience my footsteps, as Genele discusses today. (1)

I know the Now Moment is a portal. I'm just hypnotized by, fixated on time and money, as she pointed out. I need to wake up to my own priorities.

Even when I go for a walk in Stanley Park, I notice I create an agenda around it. One hour out to the Rhododendron Garden. Time for a snack on a park bench and reading the morning mail.

Then one hour back and down to work again. I'm as determined to exercise as I am to slow down. All of it is driving, driving.

I saw myself slating everything into a schedule - even my walk in the park. At no point did I release my grip on time. What's the point if I don't let go? How will I be in the Now Moment if I hang on to time?

My walk in the park has to be one footfall after another after another or I miss the tremendous value in it.

To let go of time and just keep slowing down seems to require cutting myself off from everyone around me. I resist doing that and so I never opt to slow down very much. I keep up with the rest.

But now I feel it like a hunger, a thirst. I must slow down. I have to stop excusing myself for wanting it.

Someone once said, "stop finding yourself and get back to work." Soon enough we'll do that gladly. The work will be building Nova Earth. I recognize this as an interlude.

But the point is there won't be time then for slow walking. There won't be time for slowing time itself down until it becomes no factor in our beingness or choices.

These will probably be our last few moments to experience what lies beyond time before immersing ourselves in schedules for the foreseeable future.